reading

Alter Ego Spread

I ran across the Meet Your Alter Ego tarot spread by the Daily Tarot Girl quite awhile ago. A month, maybe longer? I thought… how fun! My neglected inner-writer thought it could be a fun character building spread.

I was also thinking maybe it could help me bridge some kind of Gap of Understanding between reason and woo (because deep down inside I always think if woo was real it would be kind of cool). What if I could build an unadulterated persona (woo-sona?) to frolick in fields of comic crystal vibrations and spread rainbow bunny unicorn poop to the masses?

Or you know… Maybe I can just do the spread because I like trying spreads.

I kept putting it off. “I have to do it at the right time,” was one excuse. “I can’t decide on a deck to use!” was another excuse. I’ve never had problems choosing a deck before. So what gives?! Last night I made a note in my planner to do the spread today, no matter what. No more excuses. It looks fun and cute, why am I putting it off?

I probably could have done a spread about that.

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me_irl tho

But I realized that I really was taking this way too seriously. I think it was getting all mixed up in this internal drama I’ve been having with myself about wanting to help people through tarot in a therapeutic way without being a therapist but keeping it secular and sane.

So I’m working on getting over it. I whipped out my Zombie tarot and got to work.

The Cards

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forgive the cellphone pic. my nice camera is still a pain to use.

Play by Play

#1 – How the repressed parts of yourself are affecting your life – 6 of Cups

Childhood and nostalgia! The little boy here seems to have lost his hand. The girl doesn’t seem to mind. All seems to be well here…

I really do think about my past a lot. I often wonder how things would be different “if…”. I’m not too fond of my childhood. I have more negative memories than not. I don’t think I’m repressing the bad. Is it possible to repress the good? Oh. Ouch.That’s a tender spot there. Moving along!

#2, #3 and #4 – Personality traits, dreams, and issues that make up your alter ego – 2 of Hazards, 4 of Cups, The Chariot

Balance, dissatisfaction, drive? I read these three together. Seems no matter what I do, I’m not happy but I’m bound to find happiness somewhere, even if I have to just power through the crappy shit.

I’ll have to revisit this section I think.

#5 – How you can integrate your alter ego into your daily life – King of Cups

Oh ok so I’m just supposed to dive into my emotions and control them. I don’t consider myself much of an emotional person. This means my alter ego is?

#6 – How to embrace and work with your alter ego – 6 of Swords

I feel like this is telling me to travel. Maybe physically but the main point is to get out (of my head?), experience some life (different ways of thinking?), something like that.

#7 – Advice your alter ego has for you today! – Knight of Wands

Get out there! Be bold! And loud! Captain Jack Harkness pops up into my mind for some reason.

Final Thoughts

Well this was a fun little reading to do. I don’t know what more to say than that. I don’t think I’ll come up with a fleshed out character like Daily Tarot Girl’s but hey! It gave me something to think about.

 

reading: The Starseed Spread

Since I started this blog I’ve been doing the Deck Interview spread when I first get a deck. This time I’m going about it a different route with the Starchild Tarot: I’m going to go through the deck specific spreads starting with the Starseed spread. There’s 2 more, not sure when I’ll do them. I’ll try to resist turning this into a deck review ’cause I really want to break it in more first.

The Spread

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I shuffled like 9 times today alone and did some messy cuts. I swear!

I didn’t have a question in mind when I did this spread (I hardly ever do, honestly). But it quickly brought to attention and let me focus a bit on something I’ve been stressing over, especially last night: living in an empty apartment (I’ll sum it up to that, it’s like a huge Thing that y’all won’t care about).

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Oh look! I found a practical use for that selenite thing!

Play by Play

This deck kills my ability to read intuitively about 117% more that the Tarot of the Vampyres. So I relied completely on the book.

  1. King of Crystals is talking to me about hard work and that’s exactly the problem I’m having with the apartment issue.
  2. Queen of Wands is like a motivational speaker telling me I can do anything. Cool, so I got this, right? Yeah!
  3. Page of Crystals backs up the Queen of wands. I can do this! I just need to set concrete plans, be focused and confident.
  4. Ten of Wands speaks all the truths. I feel overburden (I don’t think I actually am, I’m just so stressed out that I feel like I am). I need to accept help (yesterday I was telling online friends I need an ‘adult’) and prioritize (I’ve been trying really hard to do that and that’s what’s been stressing me the most) which is a nice reminder/validation.
  5. Five of Crystals totally kills the mood. WTF, 5ofC? Why you gotta do this to me? The book suggests the outcome is loss, worry, etc. Is it just talking about loss of sleep, or something bigger? It also mentions over-speculation. I mean I already feel like I’m experiencing the Outcome.

The fact that this spread is dominated by crystals makes sense I suppose. The matter at hand is about money and possessions.

Final Thoughts

Overall this isn’t really telling me anything new, per the usual for me. It seems like I’m the wrong person to be into tarot but really, it’s just so much fun and even though it doesn’t tell me anything new it still gives me something to think on and focus on.

I already feel a little less stressed out. Why? I don’t fucking know. I kind of get the same feeling I get after having a good conversation with a good friend. It calms me down a little and lets me breathe. It’s cathartic.

I especially like hopping on my blog here and typing it all up. It’s an excellent way to record readings and it’s part of the whole cathartic process.

Anyway I feel like I’ve already said all that before here a few times. If you read this, thanks! This spread is nifty, you should try it ❤